Many children thrive on routine, especially adopted kids. Holidays, while fun, can be a time of chaos, with many interruptions to the normal routine. This can be stressful to the whole family, and it's tempting to let a gray cloud loom from Thanksgiving to New Year's.
But holidays can also be a time to practice intentional inclusiveness.
We have several nativity sets, but our Chinese nativity is especially precious to me because it says to my girls, "We blend our traditions with your birth culture. You matter. Chinese faces have value."
Once children are old enough to really grasp the Biblical Christmas story, adopted kids may have another component to their difficulty with the holiday. Everybody is celebrating a mom having a baby. Moms have babies. Most moms keep their babies. Why couldn't my mom keep me?
When I first started adding adoption related or China related ornaments to our family Christmas tree, I wondered, "Am I pushing it? Should I just let Christmas be about Christmas?" But then I realized, for many kids, they're already thinking about their adoption. Let's create an atmosphere where it's acceptable for them to do that.
Hannah and Katie really got into decorating the tree this year with all their special ornaments. I know, the day will come when I'll see an ornament that's just perfect for one of them that has nothing to do with adoption. And that's okay.
Adoption doesn't define them. Being Chinese doesn't define them.
My girls will grow up remembering new pajamas every Christmas Eve. They'll remember cinnamon rolls and orange juice for breakfast every year after stockings on Christmas Day.
And hopefully, they'll remember feeling accepted and loved for who they are. Multi-faceted, precious, Chinese American, adopted, funny, smart, beautiful, talented girls. In a big, crazy family.
We have another special tradition that we keep every year involving a nativity set, as well. My hope is that as our flock of animals grows and grows, it will be a visible reminder to all my children that Christmas is a time of giving to others. In honor of the greatest Gift ever given.
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This is a great time to talk about how the birth of Christ leads to our adoption as fully redeemed sons and daughters of God, too! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point! My girls aren't there yet, cognitively, but I'll keep that in mind. :)
DeleteThis is a great time to sit the kids down at talk with them about Christmas & adoption thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Patrice! Merry Christmas! :)
DeleteBeautifully written. I love the nativity idea. That is lovely.
ReplyDeleteblessings, Dawn
I'm really glad I heard about it before the sets were discontinued. The animals are easy to find, but last time I checked, the nativities were super expensive. I hope someday there will be oodles of animals representing the animals we've helped give others around the world. :)
DeleteWhat a beautiful story! So much love!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Alexis! I really have been Greatly Blessed. :)
DeleteI love this post and it is a great reminder! Things can be really stressful this time of year, some years more than others (THIS YEAR FOR US. UGH!) But that's life, no need to let it ruin the holidays :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this year is a tough one for you. :/ 2015 overall has been a roller coaster for our family. 8 kids, 7 kids, 9 kids, 8 kids, WHEE!
DeleteBeautiful post! My children are not adopted, but most of their friends are. I have always stressed that Jesus was not Joseph's biological Son, but he loved Him just as if He was his own and was proud to be given the precious task of raising Him. :-)
ReplyDeleteThat's an excellent point! I'll be sure to bring that up. This year, Hannah really liked learning that some of the wise men could have been from China, since China is "East" of Bethlehem, and the Chinese were studying astronomy at that point in history.
DeleteI just love your beautiful family!! Thanks for sharing :D
ReplyDeletePS we do the jammy tradition too!
I'm finding it's more common than I realized when we started doing it, years ago. :) It's not something my family did growing up, but it's fun to add new traditions.
DeleteHi Shecki, I'm an adoptive Mama, too. Holidays can be very difficult. In all honesty, this is our first of five Christmas's with our daughter that has been positive so far. She has special needs, as well, though, so all the sensory overload of the season really can cause her to struggle. I love your traditions and fully agree that including adoption is important and very beneficial!
ReplyDeletePrayers for a hope and joy filled Christmas!
Lori
Thank you, Lori! Our Christmas was yesterday, and it went well. I hope yours goes better than expected. :)
DeleteI love how you are combining your children's birth cultures with your family traditions! My daughter is teaching English in China and some of her precious, little students want her to be their mom! I would not be at all surprised if she adopts a child one day!
ReplyDeleteChina is an amazing place! What a neat opportunity for her!
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