We have this game we play in the car. One of the kids "calls" a VW Bug, and then they tell something they're thankful for. So we're on the way to church this morning, when Eli says, "Yellow one!" and I ask, "What are you thankful for?" His answer made me sad, and we got to church with me feeling a little overwhelmed and a little hopeless.
When it was time for communion, I sat down with my juice and wafer and bowed my head. I happened to glance to either side of me, and what did I see?
Samuel on one side of me, and Josiah on the other side, in exactly the same position as me. My teen boys, who don't really like each other, and drive me up the wall some days, emulating... me.
Sometimes, when I read blogs where women talk about how their husband leads family prayers every night or does some other impressive spiritual thing, I sigh a little. Because the spiritual thing that my husband is doing is working TWENTY 24 hour shifts this month. He's working his tail off in overtime. Which doesn't leave a lot of hours for home, folks. When it gets overwhelming, I feel like I'm not enough. Eli's flippant response in the car this morning made me feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm fighting a losing battle.
But seeing my boys, holding communion, elbows on knees, bowed just like I do, made me feel like maybe they're picking up more than I realize. It brought tears to my eyes and strengthened my resolve to keep at it.