Stop the merry go round, I want off!

With 6 days until I leave, I'm busy crossing things off my pages long To Do list.  One of those items was Make Dr. Appts for Katie & Luke.  See, when newly adopted kids come home, it's a good idea to have appointments lined up to get them checked out, take care of any parasite issues that may be going on, and have blood work drawn.  Just a general physical to get a handle on any surprises that may pop up.

So I call.  "Hi, I'm adopting 2 children, and I'd like to make an appointment to get them checked out after we get home from China."  Our doc is out on maternity leave, of course, and does not come back until the END of July.  No problem, I say, we'll see anybody.  Not my preference, of course, but I'm trying to be flexible.  That seems to be my theme word lately:  Flexible.

The receptionist says Dr S is not taking new patients.  Understandable, given that she's on maternity leave, but last month, when I went in to see her (for travel meds), she said she would take them.  I explain this, and that myself and 4 of the kids are already her patients.

She asks who our insurance is.
"Blue Shield"
HMO?
"yes"
Are they assigned to Dr S on your insurance?
"They're not ON our insurance yet.  I'm leaving in 6 days to go GET them."
If they're not on your insurance, I can't book the appointment.
"What??"
If they don't have insurance we can't see them.  Call back after they're on your insurance and schedule an appointment then.
(taking a deep breath or two)  "The paperwork to add them to our insurance will be submitted by my husband's employer on the 17th, after we take custody of the children.  I will be IN CHINA until 6/29.  If I call back on July first, you will not have any appointments available for the first week of July, when they need to be seen."
That's correct.
"So you can see my concern."
I can't book the appointments if they're not on your insurance.  If Blue Shield calls us, because Dr. S is not taking new patients, and asks if she'll accept them, we'll tell them yes.
(biting my tongue)  "Can we just book the appointments to hold the spot?  The kids WILL BE on the insurance when we come in."
We don't accept self pay patients.
"Surely you can see the uniqueness of our situation.  The forms will be submitted while we're in China.  The kids will be on our insurance when we come in for the appointments.  I understand that you don't accept self pay patients.  I just want to hold a spot so that they can be seen as soon as we come home.  They will be insured when we come in."
Well, I'll have to ask my supervisor.
"Yes!  That's an excellent idea.  Let's ask your supervisor."  [I get put on hold again and do some serious muttering under my breath.]

I hold, and hold, and hold.  And then get cut off.  Lovely.  I call back and explain my situation to a new person, who takes my name and number and says someone will call me back.

The receptionist calls back.  Her supervisor told her she could book the appointments, but that they would verify the insurance 3 days before the appointment, and if they couldn't verify the insurance, they would cancel the appointments.  Never mind that 3 business days before the appointment I'll be IN CHINA.  Sigh.  So we schedule the visit for July 3, first thing in the morning.

Then she starts to add the new patients to the computer.  "Can I get Katianna's social security number?"  She doesn't have one yet.  "Oh.  Well how old is she?"  She's 2.  "So will she have one when you come in?"  Sigh.  No, it takes a while for them to get a SSN.  We're going through immigration on 6/29.  Immigration will forward paperwork to Social Security, and they will issue a number and mail us a card.  (Which will be in her Chinese name, which would TOTALLY confuse this woman, so we're just not going there.)  "Oh."  Tap, tap, tap, a few more questions.  "Okay, so we'll see Katianna at 8 on 7/3.  What's the other child's name?"  Luke.  "Same last name?"  Same last name.  We do DOB, address, phone number.  "Does Luke have a Social Security number?"  [silent head banging]  No, not yet.  Did you miss the part where these kids are currently Chinese citizens?? What would they be doing with US SSNs?  "Okay.  Well, we'll see him at 8:30.  You should probably come early, because I think they'll have new patient forms for you to fill out."  Ya think?

According to my phone, it took, I kid you not, 30 minutes of phone time to book the appointments for Katie and Luke to be seen by some random doctor after we get home.  I feel like I should get to cross more than one thing off the list after all that.


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