Sometimes, I forget for a little while.
I'll get caught up in what I'm doing, and be focused on the kids' schoolwork or a project. This time, I was reading a book. Not an adoption book. Not something I'm supposed to be reading. Just a mildly trashy fiction book. A fluff read. I'm laying in bed, getting caught up in the story line, laughing at the dialogue, and I look up and see Katie's picture on the wall. (Walgreens ran a special for a free 11X14/10x13, and I had one of the "camp" shots blown up.) I see her face, and smile, and realize that just for a little while, the near constant ache of the uncertainty of the adoption process left me.
I liken it to having half your heart on the other side of the world. It's an incredible distraction. I don't think I can do this again. It's not fair to the kids for me to be so preoccupied all the time. Making lists, counting days, pouring over forums and yahoo groups, exchanging emails with our agency.
Looking forward to the day when weekends are something to celebrate, not despair over the two days of dead time when nothing can move forward.
Thanks for clicking for us! I'd really love to bump back up to page 2.
Oh my friend...I feel the very same way! It is a very hard process....Wished I was better!
ReplyDeleteSame here!
ReplyDeleteI truly don't understand international adoption over and over. This has been so, so hard. Hugs to you, friend. There are some of us who truly "get" what you are feeling. Hang in there.
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