I thought nothing more of it until yesterday, when Paul and I were having the "what has to happen tomorrow?" talk and he realized that no matter how we sliced it, he was going to end up with Luke and dropping off the big kids at VBS while I took the little girls to Shriners. He asked me to make him a bag. (Because you need a diaper bag to roll through the church parking lot and let the older kids jump out, it seems.) I stepped into the closet to fetch a bag and discovered... [wait for iiiiiiit!] a broken hangar on the floor.
"Who does he think is going to throw away this broken hangar? The hangar fairy?" I thought as I stepped over it on my way out of the closet. And then it hit me. I am the hangar fairy. I am going to throw the broken hangar away. I'm not going to leave it on the floor "to teach him a lesson" like I might have in my younger years. I'm not going to rampage about how, with all I do around here, I don't need to be picking up after him, too.
That's the give and take in marriage. He has been so patient with me since I've been sick. He's taken on so much, when I know he's almost as tired as I am. It's not going to hurt me to throw away the hangar. Honestly, being the hangar fairy is a small price to pay for the way he called overseas and reassured me when I was freaking out about how delayed Luke is.
It's amazing how life experience changes your perspective. When Zach was born, I lived in a tiny little studio apartment. And what week do you suppose they picked to reroof it? Yes, the week after we got out of the hospital. Oh, how I fumed! How inconsiderate! You know what? It didn't help a bit.
Shortly before I left for China, developers started clearing the field behind our house for construction. Nowadays, come nap time, there are the beep beep beeps of backup alarms, the thrum of large engines, guys hollering at each other, all outside my bedroom window. I'm so exhausted, I don't even care. If I can get both babies to sleep, I happily join them.
Each of my children has taught me different lessons. While I'm still mildly terrified of what I have yet to learn from mothering Luke, I can already see things to be thankful for. It's disappointing that he's incapable of feeding himself, of course, but this has allowed the big kids to have their Legos out without the fear of a typical 2 year old coming along and eating/destroying them. I think if Paul had had to chase a running toddler around the house the last few days, that might have been the last straw.
While I sit here, in the Shriners waiting room, happily writing, with my two cute girls confined to the double stroller (we dropped Hannah's leg off upstairs), he's going to brave taking our enigmatic little screamer to Costco to restock the bare fridge. I absolutely think I got the better end of the deal. I'll take being the hangar fairy any day.
Linking up with: http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com
There's a cool button, but I'm editing from my iPad and can't make it work, of course. Trust me, there's a lot of other neat posts you'll want to read there.
Amazing how time changes us, yes. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI have been following your whole journey picking up your new babies and reading along as you settle home. I want to tell you what an encouragement you are. You are facing things that most of us don't yet you do it with humor and grace and a little bit of sarcasm--and God is working in you. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWarmly,
Kate
I know very well what it's like to adopt a child with massive medical problems and delays, I did not expect. So I can understand in many ways :) It may be different circumstances for you, but I tell people all the time when talking about adoption or special needs, that we would have never, ever "signed up" to adopt a child with the extent of Olivia's special needs, or medical problems. We would have looked and said, no way we can't handle that and passed on the referral, and we probably would have been smart to do so. But God supernaturally, complete with miraculous dreams and signs, gave our daughters to us, and us to our daughters. It was his intention all along. And though I did not have the ability to handle it all at the time, he abundantly supplied what I needed when I needed it. I can because of who he his! And now, more than just "handle it" we victoriously walk a bleak outlook, and daily medical heartbreak with gladness. I am who I am today because of my daughters. I know you've said it before too, but when people say "I don't think I would be able to handle that, that kid leaving, that special need, that many" whatever that is for them, but it's not about being able to handle it, it's about being called!! It's God's job to supply all the handling. ;) And you will get a front seat to miracles in Luke's life, because you said yes to that call. The enemy likes nothing more than to prey on our fears, he uses something believable, and our mind runs. Speak scripture over that sweet boy, over your worry or whatever emotion that comes up that distracts you from God's purpose and your place in his life.
ReplyDeleteFor me every time something new came/comes up, it was a cycle of grief over the losses of what I had hoped for her, what I had expected, and the brokenness in her body, followed by acceptance, strength, and joy. Over and over and over. I've gotten faster at the grief/acceptance cycle ;)
I know this is a little more than the average blog comment, but I want to use what we've walked through to encourage. I want you to hear, even though I know you know, I want you to hear that this journey is a testimony. To love who God loves, to create your family with vision and purpose, not simply because it's what culture does, to lift up marriage, and what love REALLY looks like to and from your spouse is what people need to hear about. The desperately need to hear about what Christ alone can do when we are desperate.
Love you
Wow, what a journey your family has been on. You have such a grounded perspective. God changes us doesn't he? I've caught myself... the sock fairy... from going off the deep end. It's a sock. There's no sense in squashing the spirits of my husband or children over a sock.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing (and for linking up with the SHINE Blog Hop).
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
God certainly does change us. I'm mellowing out a lot in my old age. Either I'm discovering what truly matters, and by default, what doesn't, or I'm too tired to care any more.
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