A large family, homeschooling, adoption, special needs, whatever strikes my fancy, sort of blog.

A large family, homeschooling, adoption, special needs, whatever strikes my fancy, sort of blog.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Imperfect Holidays


Perfect.

That word has so much baggage dragging along behind it, doesn't it?  Whether you're trying to just be the best mom you can be for your baby's first Christmas, or you're hoping to pull off a Christmas miracle on a seriously cramped budget for your 3 kids who've had a rough time since Dad left, trying to make the holidays perfect is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.

How about making the holidays relaxed, instead?  Think about what's important to you, and include those things.  Let the rest of the "stuff" go.

Some years, we've done Christmas cards, some years, we haven't.  If that's important to you, do it.  If it's not, don't.  Personally, I love receiving cards, but I know my limits, and some years, it just doesn't happen.

If doing the Pinterest-y thing is what truly makes YOU happy, then by all means, craft away.  (The rest of us will be mildly jealous, but happy for you.)  If you only do that stuff to impress a relative that makes you feel insecure, please stop.  You're stressing yourself and your family out.

It's a heavy burden sometimes, but Mom sets the emotional tone of the household.  Knowing myself well, I could get all spun up about making Zachary's First Thanksgiving and Christmas home since 2009, as well as Katie and Luke's First Thanksgiving and Christmas home ever into a Very Big Deal.  That's so not fair to my family.  What they would enjoy, is a relaxed mom and a fun, family centered holiday, not a mom who's so obsessed with everything being perfect that I have no time for being with them.

So I'm making a vow to myself.  (Imagine my right hand raised.)  I will not force my kids to wear uncomfortable clothing that they hate so other people will think I'm a good mom.  I will not go psycho an hour before company arrives and shriek orders at everyone to help with the cleaning.  And I will not lose sight of the reasons we're getting together these two special days.  Thankfulness, and the birth of Christ.

I'm going to give myself permission to sit down and participate in any holiday crafting we may do.  I'm going to keep my clothing expectations low (no pants with holes in them, okay boys?).  I will try to remember that people are coming to be with US, not inspect our house.

Will you join me?  Will you examine your expectations and the pressures you're putting on yourself and your family and see what you can let go of?


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10 comments:

  1. Beautifully said! It's easy to fall into the comparison trap with others, especially this time of year. The only thing I need to worry about is being there for my kids.

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    1. I know I'll need to remind myself over and over in the next month or so. :)

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  2. I'm with you! I laughed at the "turning psycho an hour before company arrives" because I have so done that! Thanks for the encouragement!

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  3. Great reminders, Shecki! I'm another psycho before company arrives type person.

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    1. My dh calls it "going Helga." I guess I unleash my inner German and go into commandant mode. Scary.

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  4. Wow, love your new blog look! Just stopping in to say hi :)

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    1. Thanks! I love purple & green, but with all the red and black from family pictures, it didn't "go" any more. :)

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  5. We could all take a leaf out of your book, wonderful advice!

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