A large family, homeschooling, adoption, special needs, whatever strikes my fancy, sort of blog.

A large family, homeschooling, adoption, special needs, whatever strikes my fancy, sort of blog.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I cried in church today.

We have this game we play in the car.  One of the kids "calls" a VW Bug, and then they tell something they're thankful for.  So we're on the way to church this morning, when Eli says, "Yellow one!" and I ask, "What are you thankful for?"  His answer made me sad, and we got to church with me feeling a little overwhelmed and a little hopeless.

When it was time for communion, I sat down with my juice and wafer and bowed my head.  I happened to glance to either side of me, and what did I see?

Samuel on one side of me, and Josiah on the other side, in exactly the same position as me.  My teen boys, who don't really like each other, and drive me up the wall some days, emulating... me.

Sometimes, when I read blogs where women talk about how their husband leads family prayers every night or does some other impressive spiritual thing, I sigh a little.  Because the spiritual thing that my husband is doing is working TWENTY 24 hour shifts this month.  He's working his tail off in overtime.  Which doesn't leave a lot of hours for home, folks.  When it gets overwhelming, I feel like I'm not enough.  Eli's flippant response in the car this morning made me feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm fighting a losing battle.

But seeing my boys, holding communion, elbows on knees, bowed just like I do, made me feel like maybe they're picking up more than I realize.  It brought tears to my eyes and strengthened my resolve to keep at it.


  1. Hang in there momma! Much more is caught than taught. It is incredibly hard when there's lots of OT and much more falls on your shoulders. I understand!! I pray You sense Gods encouragement. Your weakness is an opportunity to give God glory, His strength will carry you.

  2. Oh, so beautiful. To see boys be reverent and open to God is the best. God bless you for all you do, with such a hard working husband gone so much.

  3. It's a wonderful thing to be a parent, to see the lives that we are raising for Christ and to see that they are learning. I hope things are going better for you now. I remember what it was like to be married to my ex who was an over the road truck driver and hardly ever home while I was taking care of my 3 kiddos who are grown now. I guess I really can't complain about my husbands 12 hour night shifts as an LPN.
    Thanks for stopping by and sharing with Throwback Thursday Blog Style. I hope you will stop by again this week.

    1. Thank you. It's a huge responsibility, isn't it? I get it wrong so often.