A large family, homeschooling, adoption, special needs, whatever strikes my fancy, sort of blog.

A large family, homeschooling, adoption, special needs, whatever strikes my fancy, sort of blog.

Friday, November 1, 2013

How To Be Married To Your Best Friend

I'll be honest.  When the opportunity to review this book came up, I thought, "Sure, I can do that!  An easy read!  A marriage book.  I've been married for-EVER, and we've got this thing pretty much figured out."  Go ahead, laugh at me.  So I signed up to read My Beloved and My Friend, How To Be Married To Your Best Friend Without Changing Spouses.  The title made me grin.

Look at us!  So young, we didn't even know how much we didn't know.  It took us a long time to figure out some of the truths presented in this book.

The DAY the book showed up in the mailbox, Paul and I started bickering having passionate discussions.  In fact, I no longer felt like reading "that marriage book" and let it sit on my nightstand for over a week while I read other things.  I think Satan tries to distract us from things that will benefit us, and My Beloved and My Friend is certainly beneficial.

Once I finally got around to it, I was quickly sucked in.  Hal and Melanie have done a great job of being real with their readers.  I found myself relating to them through the many ways we are similar.  They even have a bunch o'boys, too.  You can connect with the Youngs on Facebook.

What really hit me, however, was the content.  I enjoyed this book quite a bit.  It progresses from "leaving and cleaving" at the very beginning, where it talks about separating from one's parents and establishing boundaries for your family, through hot topics like sex, submission, family size, traditional roles, and money, and ends with "How to fight so you both win."

So many times I thought, "There's something I could mention in my review!" and put a sticky tab in it.

Once, there was even something I wanted to discuss with one of my children!  

You know how sometimes, the same topic will come up in a variety of ways, until you're forced to acknowledge that it's something you need to work on?  Hmm, this book mentions balance, an issue I'm struggling with right now.  Remember how I mentioned the good is the enemy of the best recently?  My Beloved and My Friend cuts to the chase, reminding me that a healthy, solid marriage is the BEST, and all the other fluff, while good, is still just fluff.  Convicting.  

There's something I've noticed about my own marriage in recent years that was discussed in the book, and that is learning to just let it go.  I don't know whether it's just because I'm old and tired, or if I'm finally maturing, but I say, "This isn't worth fighting over," mentally, so much more now than I did when we were first married.  I was a little high strung then.  Everything had to be battled over to the death.  I wanted to be right!  Unfortunately, those "wins" are losses for the unity of your marriage.  I'm grateful that I chose the perfect man to grow old with, who loves me despite my imperfections.  One of the most endearing things ever is the way he says, "I still like you" even when we're not getting along.  

Instead of sharing every story, brilliant nugget of truth, or aha! moment for me, however, I'm just going to say, you need to read this book.  Have you ever heard that 2 people can listen to the exact same sermon and get totally different things from it?  That's how it is with this book.  Different reviewers have focused on different aspects of the book that were meaningful to them.  You can read more reviews here.  Then, when you're fully convinced that you need this book, you can pre-order it here for only $12, instead of the February price of $15.

I hope that you will make a point to do something today to show your spouse that you love them.

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  1. I'm excited for this book to come out! I love their Raising Real Men book - they are fantastic speakers and writers! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    1. Thank you! I'm thinking I need to read RRM, too.

  2. You did a wonderful job with this review!

    Mrs. White
    The Legacy of Home

  3. Replies
    1. Great reminders, right? :) Thanks for the comment.